I’m missing the people, the places, the things. Most of all, I’m missing the freedom. I always found peace in knowing I could make my own decisions, do whatever I wanted. However this is no longer the case. This has become more of a curse than a blessing, and I feel trapped. And although I can trick myself into believing this rut will only last during these nine months, I know the truth is that this rut will be everlasting. No day will ever be simple, no moment will ever be consequence-free. I will pay for this mistake for the rest of my life. As sad as that may be, the choice has already been made, my fate determined. I spend the quiet evenings wishing this all away, denying reality. Sometimes I wonder if I’ll things will ever be okay again.
